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In Messages for Equality, Keep It Simple

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Two examples of how in this day and political climate we need short, bumper-sticker size slogans to get our messages across hit me this past weekend. Today’s reality, whether we like it or not, is that people are not reading long and extended discussions with nuanced “there’s this, and then there’s that” arguments in a society where religionists and one of the political parties have fully embraced the tactic that words are less to inform and more a means to excite, scare, and anger people. The first example is what struck me at the local “No Kings’ rally I attended where people held signs up along a busy suburban-like thoroughfare. The busyness of those who drove by and had no time to stop and read lengthy lists of why someone was out there, even if they honked in support, was instructive. It meant that the short and sweet and more provocative signs were the ones that got a message across. Keeping it simple reached more people even if one would like them to take the time to know more a...
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How Girls Are Expected to Conform in Our Sports Culture

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Just look at her. There’s something so free about the girl on the playground who hasn’t gotten the message that she should act like a “little lady.” The playground is her place to soar, to dream of flying, driving a race car, climbing mountains, becoming a great ice hockey or soccer star, or setting new records on the basketball court. She can get dirty, tear her jeans, scrape her elbows and shins, hang upside down forever, shout and laugh uncontrollably, and make any sound from any body part that she wants. For a time in her life, there are no limits placed on her just because she’s a girl. She thinks of her body in terms of how it functions to accomplish her many dreams, not as an object judged by others. She couldn’t care less about how she looks and what she wears as long as it helps her to run fast and jump high or do whatever else she wants to do. She might be called a “tomboy,” but that’s not so bad in our culture. Our society’s sexism actually protects her for a while. A “girly...
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Does Our Lucrative Sports Culture Take Away a Boy’s Humanity?

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What a delight to learn that my 14-year-old grandson and a bunch of his friends had organized their own recreational league basketball team that includes no adult coach and no practices. It’s meant purely to have plain old fun without the pressure that “adult” expectations impose. Even the team name they chose has no “adult” meaning - like the already passé “6,7.” Their games aren’t pretty by “organized sports” standards, but these boys are sure enjoying a freedom from all that. It reminded me of their childhood play and a real nostalgia not to give “play” up no matter how “grownup” these boys were supposed act. If you were a boy, you remember that at some point play ground culture became sports culture. If you were able to enjoy the first, that didn’t always mean you could succeed at the second. Play morphed into competition as early as society could get us to internalize the idea that we were vying with other boys for affirmation and the emblem of “manhood.” The boys who were “real b...
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In With the New, But Out With the Old?

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It’s just a New Years’ saying that affirms that what’s coming up is, we hope, better. But the sentiment in much of our culture sees “old” as even dreaded enough to say more broadly “out with it.” I remember that I was somewhat amused when I heard a twenty-nine year old gay man genuinely bemoan the fact that he was about to turn thirty. The specter of that age looming over him, he said, made him “feel old.” So, he told us, he needed to get some things done and find a partner before that happened — and while he “still had a chance.” To those of us who are quite a bit older, and who'd never go back to thirty again, unless it was guaranteed that we could take with us all we've learned from our experiences since, there’s something sad about feeling “old” at thirty. I’m not sure what “feeling old” even means. But it’s not meant positively. I know that’s so, because we take the statements, “You don’t look that old,” or “You don’t act that old,” as complements. Though the cult of youth...
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